Polyamory is about loving people. In my experience, it feels unfair to ask one person to give me everything I need for the rest of my life. I married my husband because I want to build a life with him, but for me that doesn’t automatically imply other people can’t share that life with us. People need friends, family, and partners—but why is it necessarily limited to one? It is expected to have multiple friends who give you different things, yet this mindset stops short of intimate relationships.
BYGONE BROTHELS AND THE WOMEN WHO RAN THEM
If you hear the term ‘Elizabethan brothel’ and think of luxurious manors and salacious sin dressed up in jewels, you can thank Elizabeth Holland. This determined and glamorous madam helped transform London’s underground prostitution into an industry that entertained royalty.
Goicochea’s words convinced me even further that the partnership was a good fit. By working with a gender-neutral and progressive sexual wellness brand such as Maude, Johnson is driving inclusivity in sexual wellness just as her work with the trilogy advanced sexual liberation in mainstream media. Sex-positivity is for everyone and comes in many forms. Whether it is in the form of a BDSM romance novel or a solo romp with a gender-neutral vibrator, it deserves to be celebrated—whatever shade it comes in.
I had never felt more empowered in my sexuality than when I dabbled in kink—not because it is the only way to be empowered, but because it was something that worked for me. I did, however, feel as though my dominant role was more feminist than my submissive roles. As a female dominant with male submissives, I flipped the typical power distance between cis-men and cis-women. As a submissive, however, I felt empowered, but also like I was upholding a patriarchal standard. As a female dominant with male submissives, I flipped the typical power distance between cis-men and cis-women. As a submissive, however, I felt empowered, but also like I was upholding a patriarchal standard.
My own ace experience includes feeling like I’m constantly out of step with what the rest society thinks. To see if others felt the same incongruence as I did, I ran a small survey. It went to anonymous, mostly asexual respondents, ranging from 16 to 26 years old. Most said that feminists, whether in casual conversation or organized groups, just don’t understand asexuals—or even know that they exist. Feminism as a whole has not outgrown society’s discomfort with aces and in turn, asexuality risks being uncomfortable with feminism.
Arguably, nobody is ever ready to have kids—no amount of planning can fully prepare a person for parenthood. But whether or not you make those plans is becoming less about expectations and more about inclinations: baby, or no baby?